Tabloid update: "Clinton Secret Divorce Deal!"

If you don't do your own grocery shopping, you can always count on America Wants To Know to keep you apprised of the latest developments in the supermarket tabloids.

This week the Globe has skipped over the marital problems of the Bush family and gone straight to that bottomless well of tabloid material, the marriage of Bill and Hillary Clinton.

"World Exclusive!" the tabloid says, "Feuding Clintons' marriage doomed!"

World exclusive?

The Globe reports that Bill and Hillary have a "secret divorce pact" that will become effective if she loses her bid for the Democratic nomination for president. "If she's elected, the marriage continues," the paper quotes one "Beltway insider" as saying, "If she fails, it's over."

Well, that's not very credible. If the Clintons get divorced, they can be subpoenaed to testify against each other.

Or, as President Clinton once put it, "How many of you have ever taught constitutional law?"

This week's Globe does contain a few errors. In addition to the "World Exclusive" goof, the Globe's story incorrectly characterizes some of the former president's relationships, describing "pretty Kathleen Wiley" as "linked to" him. Actually, Kathleen Willey is on the "non-consensual" list along with Paula Jones and Juanita Broaddrick, not on the "linked to" list with Gennifer Flowers.

Small details, perhaps, but these are the kind of errors that will keep the Globe from winning a Pulitzer.

More interesting is the guessing game of who, if anyone, wanted this story on the front page of a supermarket tabloid this particular week, with Democratic voters going to the polls on Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday to vote for a nominee for president. Is it a plant from the Clinton team to drum up sympathy for the victim of a philandering husband? Is it a plant from the Obama team to remind voters how tired they are of the Clinton soap opera? Did the "Laura Claws Boozing Bush" issue not sell enough copies to merit a follow-up?

We'll never know.

But at least we saved you $3.29.


Copyright 2008

Editor's note: You might be interested in the earlier post, "Tabloid update: 'Laura Claws Boozing Bush.'" And if you've just joined us, catch up on your tabloid reading with "Laura's secret divorce diary," "Bush marital turmoil," "Laura Bush's cover story" and "All right, let's dish."

.